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This week, the NFLPA released its annual list of the top jersey-sellers in the NFL over the past year (from March 1, 2014 to Feb. 28 2015). FTW examined the list of 50 and the results are below:
Best-selling jersey: Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks (Rank: No. 1)
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That’s the second year in a row the NFL’s new golden boy has led the league in jersey sales and it’s all because Seattle’s 12th man is the greatest set of fans — nay, people — in the history of the earth.
Best-selling jersey of someone who didn’t throw a crippling interception in this year’s Super Bowl: Tom Brady, New England Patriots (No. 3)
Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports
How is Tom Brady third in jersey sales? Who are these people who want a Tom Brady jersey but don’t already have one? It’s a mystery. It’s like how for years, back when people still bought albums, The Eagles Greatest Hits and Bob Marley’s Legend would be top-sellers every December even though you assumed everyone either a) already had the album, or b) had good taste in music.
You’re probably better off just buying a Joe Montana throwback: Colin Kaepernick, San Francisco 49ers (No. 4)
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I mean, if you wanted to buy the jersey of a Bay Area-QB who’s going to go 3-13 this season, I’m sure you could find a deal on some Derek Carr merchandise.
Top non-quarterback: Dez Bryant (No. 6)
Just don’t throw anything to the person wearing this jersey, as he or she will likely bobble it, thus losing a chance to go to the NFC championship. (And how was this even a debate back in January? It’s so not a catch.)
Biggest freefall: Robert Griffin III (No. 4 in 2014 to No. 25 in 2015)
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If Redskins fans were serious about wanting Dan Snyder to change, they wouldn’t buy anything related to the team, would avoid FedEx Field by the droves and let a general sense of apathy hang over the city during football season. Oh, wait, they’ve already done that.
Neckbeards are out this season?: Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts (No. 15)
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I’d chalk this up to “everybody already bought a Luck jersey” but Russell Wilson, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady at 1-2-3 sort of disprove that point. So what’s up with the lack of Luck love? (Say that 10 times fast.)
Best-selling jersey of a defender: Richard Sherman, Seattle Seahawks (No. 7)
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When you put it on, it’s like Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak: No one looks your way for at least three hours until you blow your cover and start yelling about Campbell’s soup.
Oddest rankings of teammates who you’d think would be flip-flopped: Jason Witten (No. 11) and Tony Romo (No. 17)
(Tim Heitman/USA TODAY Sports)
Though I’m confused by this ranking, Witten is a great jersey to buy. No matter what happens to him in the next few years — whether he’s a Cowboy for life or plays out the string on another team — Witten will always be a Cowboy first and, thus, his jersey is like an investment. You’ll always be cool in a Witten jersey. A Romo jersey? Let him win a Super Bowl then we can talk.
Jersey people will NOT regret buying in approximately 11 months: Marshawn Lynch, Seattle Seahawks (No. 9)
Twitter: @NFLonCBS
I can think of far better ways to spend $90 in Seattle.
Remember, the sales forming this list began last March: Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings (No. 27)
(AP Photo/L.G. Patterson, File)
Two questions for Vikings fans: 1) Will AP ever wear a Vikings AP jersey again? 2) If so, when is it acceptable, if ever, to don an AP jersey of your own?
Good causes and good people still exist: Devon Still, Cincinnati Bengals (No. 46)
(USA TODAY Sports Images)
Well done, NFL fans. Getting Devon Still and his jersey, proceeds from which benefit the research of pediatric cancer on behalf of his daughter Leah, into the top 50 is simply fantastic.
The “You’re the Worst, Chip Kelly” trio: Nick Foles, Philadelphia Eagles (No. 26); LeSean McCoy, Philadelphia Eagles (No. 14); DeMarco Murray, Dallas Cowboys (No. 23)
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If Bill Belichick destroys fantasy football by giving touchdowns to unknown running backs and any defender who can run more than 15 feet, Chip Kelly has ruined jersey buying, thus proving our only rule of purchasing an NFL jersey: Don’t buy something that could one day become obsolete. Sure, Peyton Manning will retire from the Broncos one day, but at least his jersey can still be worn in spirit. The same thing does not apply for Foles and McCoy; they’re gone and their time in Philly wasn’t nearly good, nor long, enough to commemorate. Those jerseys are worthless. Keep your jersey purchases for throwbacks, modern-day legends and Devon Still and you’ll be just fine.
